Sunday, February 3, 2008

Another Desk Calendar Problem, The Worst Artificial Flavor

I just realized I have another problem with my joke-a-day desk calendar. The joke for today is the one about the duck that walks into a bar, and asks for pickles. If you don't know it, ask me, I'll tell you sometime. IT IS HILARIOUS. Except, the way the joke is told on the calendar, the duck doesn't ask for pickles, he asks for bread. The joke is substantially less funny when the duck asks for bread instead of pickles. Consequently, I have a subconscious urge to rip off today's page, displaying tomorrow's. At some point today, I might well do this without thinking. But, then, the date on the calendar will be incorrect.

For the remainder of the year, whenever an unfunny or poorly told joke is on my calendar, I'll have to resist the urge to proceed to a funny joke.

Also, the calendar came in a box shaped like Chinese take-a-way boxes. This is what drew me to the calendar initially, but, now, I don't get the connection between Chinese food and a joke-a-day desk calendar.

And now, a brief quiz:
Q. What is the worst artificial flavor?
A. Banana


  1. hear hear! I think I was initially turned off to real bananas for several years because of artificially-flavored banana candy. gross.

    you could save the jokes from January for days when the joke isn't as funny-- just tape 'em on below the date.

  2. What is it to be the worst artificial flavor? To least resemble the actual flavor or to not be pleasant in itself?

    In any case, I like artificial banana; but, I would move that we start calling it "yellow flavored."

  3. I think part of the problem with artificial banana is what other naturally occurring flavors are in a real banana. With a strawberry or orange, there is, along with the fructose a bit of acid (citric in case of the orange) that makes it tangy. In the case of the artificial flavor (which has the real flavor ester, so it isn't completely 'artificial') strawberry and orange are typically just a little bit flat. Grape is more like grape jelly than like grapes, mostly because grapes don't have a very concentrated flavor.

    But bananas have some freaky stuff in them. As a result banana artificial flavor is kind of... chalky.

    But it tastes more like banana than anything else, because it is banana. It's just not all of the banana. Does that make any sense?

    Naming it [color] flavor doesn't help in the case of oranges...

  4. Good idea, Matthew. I maintain that banana artificial flavor is both the worst artificial flavor on taste alone, and also in terms of how well it emulates what it is intended to. And, River, way to sciencepwn.