Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Footprints poems for non-Christians

If you're an American Christian, you've probably come across the Footprints poem, and found it inspirational and not sappy. If you're not familiar with it, here it is:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
In order to make this Internet weblog more accessible to people who aren't Christians, I have come up with some other Footprints poems, for people of other worldviews.

Atheism:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach alone. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. There was only ever one set of footprints. This didn't bother me, because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I would just solve my problems myself.
Zen Buddhism:
A monk named Seizei was walking along the beach with his master, Sozan. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene he noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered Seizei because he noticed that during the low periods of his life, when he was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, he could see only one set of footprints, so he said to Sozan, “You promised me Sozan, that if I followed you, I would find enlightenment. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

Sozan replied, “This flax weighs three pounds.” And Seizei was enlightened.

5 comments:

  1. A follower of Baal:
    A priest of Baal dreamed he was walking along the beach with Baal, the god he served above all others. Many scenes from his life flashed across the sky. By each scene, he noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, sometimes only one. This bothered him, because he saw no particular reason for Baal to leave him at the times he did.
    So he asked him "O great Baal, why did you leave me at times? Am I not a faithful priest? Have I not even spilled my own blood on your account?"
    Baal replied, "Sometimes I went on journeys. Other times I went to the bathroom."

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  2. you could write one for Muslims about how at the end of their life, during the hardest times, there was a big square imprint in the sand next to their single set of footprints where God sent down a book about how to walk straight. but the joke would probably not be taken very well.

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  3. A muslim dreamed he was walking along the beach with Allah. Many scenes from his life flashed across the sky. By each scene, he noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, sometimes only one. This bothered him, so he turned towards Allah to ask him. He looked at Allah and...

    The author of this story was just killed by an angry mob.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Damn it, I wanted to know what he looked like!

    A Ringling Bro's clown dreamed he was walking along the beach with Otto Griebling, the most famous American clown in history. Many scenes from his life flashed across the sky. By each scene, he noticed handprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of handprints, sometimes only one. This bothered him, because he noticed that during the low periods of his life, when he was giving blood or shoveling elephant dung, he could only see one set of handprints. So he said to Otto, "Why, when I needed you most, were you not there for me?" And Otto said "Runaway, where's your head? Your dreams are groundless. Anyway, we were both walking on one hand....duh."

    Yours was still waaay better, though, Tim. I'm still laughing....

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