Thursday, July 26, 2007


With the Web 2.0 and the tubes and all, and IP addresses, you might not have seen commercials on TV lately. Here are things I learned from commercials tonight.

  • Cal Ripkin's induction to the hall of fame is news
  • A sandwich commerating Cal Ripkin's induction to the hall of fame is news
  • Lotteries have a positive expected payoff
  • Everyone likes horseracing, and you should, too
  • The Nissan bottom line is the cheapest price you will pay
  • Herbs and fruit have something to do with making you have pretty hair with which to impress an ENTIRE MOTORCYCLE GANG
  • People will argue violently over the type of pizza they will consume
  • A crowd of people will follow you about, if you pick the right cell phone network, impressing mobsters that were about to bring you harm
  • Target supports teachers (if you give them key personal information and customer loyalty, in the form of a Target credit card)
  • This car will keep your child from wetting his pants
  • This will make you have pretty skin
  • This is a call on your iPhone
  • Amstel Light beer will make you as cultured as a craftsman of musical instruments
Now you know everything that is true. Ever.

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