Atheist Bingo

(via lol god)

Yummy

Whenever I open a new package, maybe it's shoes or luggage, and I find a silica gel packet, I can help but think, "mmm, delicious."

Footprints poems for non-Christians

If you're an American Christian, you've probably come across the Footprints poem, and found it inspirational and not sappy. If you're not familiar with it, here it is:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

In order to make this Internet weblog more accessible to people who aren't Christians, I have come up with some other Footprints poems, for people of other worldviews.

Atheism:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach alone. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. There was only ever one set of footprints. This didn't bother me, because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I would just solve my problems myself.

Zen Buddhism:

A monk named Seizei was walking along the beach with his master, Sozan. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene he noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered Seizei because he noticed that during the low periods of his life, when he was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, he could see only one set of footprints, so he said to Sozan, “You promised me Sozan, that if I followed you, I would find enlightenment. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

Sozan replied, “This flax weighs three pounds.” And Seizei was enlightened.

Two Stupid Product Slogans

1. Running late? Run a red light!
2. Hard liquor: for when tough guys feel like drinking out of dainty glasses
   

Transformers Personality Test

What type of Transformer are you? Take this test to find out! You can play along at home, by keeping track of your answers to each question.

Question 1:
Which do you prefer:
a Helping people
b Blowing stuff up

The End

Scoring:
If you picked a for Q1, you are an Autobot. If you picked b, you are Decepticon.